Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
