yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
