New invention idea: vibrating tampons
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
