apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
