once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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