I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
