is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
