you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
