im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
