her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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