I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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