I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
