You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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