therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
