Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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