Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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