my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
