Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
