Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
