Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i came on her dog
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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