I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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