Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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