She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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