How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
