We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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