So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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