pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
