the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
