i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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