the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
