Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
