i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize