we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize