Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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