Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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