Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize