i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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