I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
