terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
