My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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