I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
