highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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