You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
