And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
