he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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