yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she told me i tasted like america
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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