I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
