I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
