i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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