This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
