He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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