You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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