so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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