you guys were way drunker than both of me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
