And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
