she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
