the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
