I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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