I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
