hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
