Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
