yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
